Operation Friendship

One of the reasons it has been great for us to be on break (besides healing up Eric's body) has been the chance to socialize and make friends with our co-workers and people in our small group.

Our first chance to meet up and hang out was actually not with our fellow Arizonians but our fellow Houghton grads. On Tuesday night we went to a restaurant here in town called P.F. Chang's and arranged to meet up with a couple that we knew at Houghton who just barely got married and were visiting relatives down here after their honeymoon. We thought we were the crazy ones moving 3,000 miles away right after tying the knot but they are also taking on quite an endeavor. Jesse is already a pastor in Australia and after coming home to marry Jessica, they went on their honeymoon to Yosemite, visited Jesse's grandmother in Tucson, then headed to Kansas to have a wedding reception near Jesse's family. From Kansas they head back to Australia to start their lives together. Phew! We had a wonderful time chatting with them about life after college in the "real world" and all the new things you learn when you enter that stage of life. We also got to share many fun stories and it was great to laugh and talk with them about the ins and outs of relationships, working with kids, moving long distances and being in ministry.

On Wednesday night I was able to go to the birthday party of a girl in our small group and we had a fun time eating out and then bowling afterwards. It is somewhat intimidating to enter into an already established network of friends but these girls are very sweet. I'm excited about the chance to hang out with them more and build friendships with other married girls that are my age.

Tonight Bethany and I celebrated Halloween. We decided to dress up as William and Marion Wallace. You can see some of our nice Halloween pictures when the blogger lets us upload pictures again. Halloween is definitely more fun when you live in a safe neighborhood full of other people who want to celebrate. Each house probably gives out candy to around 300 children during the course of the night. Bethany and I went to a "haunted house" where a big spider lay in wait for us. Upon approaching, the hairy eight-legged beast charged at us and Bethany gasped while Eric's heart and body jumped. Luckily it was just a motion activated robot and it returned to its web.

I, Eric, have to make up two days of GAP work that I missed while I had mono. Instead of making up 16 hours of work I have to make up 28 hours of work. Three and a half normal work days. I am somewhat frustrated about this scenario and unsure if I should bring it up or not. Next time I will just work with mono! I may be making up some of my hours doing marketing and IT work for GAP though, which would be nice.

Prayers: That God will continue to keep mono from Bethany. That will be a miracle if she does not get the disease and that is what we are praying for! Also pray for us as we still strive to make spiritual disciplines a regular part of our life again. This has been a struggle for us since college. And pray for us to find some great friends!

Praises: Halloween was fun! We are beginning to see the potential for some friendships down here. Praise God that I might be able to use some of my marketing experience and creativity to help GAP and make up hours.

More Tough News

Alas, I was hoping to be able to post pictures of our adventures over the next two weeks since we have time off and the weather is now a decent temperature to go exploring. Instead, we received the deflating news today that Eric has mono. Our hopes were high that it was just going to be strep throat and he would receive a good treatment and be recovered in no time. The doctors, rather, said "Sorry guys" and sent us on our way. The only treatment is fluid and sleep. We immediately composed a shopping list which included more fluids, more throat losanges, more Vitamin C for me and a DVD player so that he can watch movies. Now we just have to work on the TV part but we may be able to borrow one from a friend.

I'd have to say that both of our spirits are somewhat low from this news. We are fortunate that we don't have work scheduled for two weeks because it may take that long for him to be feeling up to work again. Our supervisor is trying to figure out coverage for the house we were supposed to go to this weekend and I may have to do it with another person for the two days. Fortunately, it is close by so I would be able to make frequent checks on him.

For now, his resting place is on our futon which folds out into a nice full size bed. Pray for him to be able to sleep as much as possible so that he can recover soon and pray for my protection against the virus. No kissing for a while! =(

Prayers and Praises

Tonight there are many things on my brain and I'm starting to enjoy using this blog as a way to get my thoughts out and maybe provoke some thought and prayers in your own life. Eric is currently asleep in bed with a temperature of 101.2. He's had a terrible sore throat for the past three days. I wasn't worried about it until I took his temperature and when I saw that he had a fever, I got a little nervous. Right now we are in between health insurance until our previous insurance companies send proof that we were covered prior to this job. I'm a little worried about the cost of taking him to the doctor if he should need antibiotics or something. It's possibly strep but we are not sure. So send up a little prayer for him especially because the sore throat keeps him awake. And pray that our certificates of insurance come in the mail tomorrow.

Today we ended the third respite of the month and we will be back to the same house on Friday night to cover while the couple attends a relatives wedding. Yesterday I essentially had to run the show by myself because Eric was feeling so wretched. It was somewhat satisfying to feel like I could feed and keep track of 7 children but I was also entirely wiped out when I tried to get up at 5:30 again this morning so Eric took a turn and let me catch up on some sleep despite his illness.

This respite was pretty smooth and quiet but I had to do more medical visits than on any other stay. I realized that when we have our own children, Eric might have to go to the appointments when they get shots because I will probably pass out. On Friday I took one girl to her physical and she got two shots. I had to put a magazine up in front of my face and read it so I couldn't see the needles. Then on Saturday, I took the oldest boy to Urgent Care because he had a big bubble of something on the back of his ear lobe. The doctor had to open it up and drain it. Now I know why they put magazines in doctor's offices. They are for whimpy parents like me who can't handle blood, needles, knives, pain, etc.

The last medical visit was a medicine review for a boy that is new to the house. He is ten years old and he has been on my heart ever since hearing his story and taking him to see the doctor. I'll call him "Luke" for now. Luke has a twin sister at another foster home outside of GAP and he misses her a lot. He and his sister were taken from their mom because of abuse. Today I learned that at one point his mom held him over the bathtub with a gun to his head and told him that she would blow his brains out. Luke is on medication for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and he's pretty reserved and quiet. During the med review I listened to the doctor explain that neurologically Luke's brain has actually formed differently because of neglect and abuse and it takes years of good therapy and love and care to ever build trust and attachment again. Fortunately, he is doing very well at the GAP house and he especially has a great relationship with Don who is the dad there. His story is an example to me of a child that needs a miracle. Pray for him and his twin sister. Right now Luke doesn't sleep very well and part of it is due to fear. He also gets fearful when he is outside of a safe home because he's afraid that his mom will find him. His mother is in jail and she also needs a miracle. His story breaks my heart and I am looking forward to seeing how the love of Jesus can somehow transform his life.

On a more cheerful note, we bought plane tickets today to come home to New England on December 13th and we will be able to stay for two weeks! Eric talked to our supervisor and he is willing to let us keep our schedule through December and then if we are not willing to work 18 days a month, we would have to take a pay cut. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it but I am thankful that he was understanding and that there seems to be a way we could work things out. I have seen pictures of the fall in New England this year on facebook and my friend's blog and I am jealous that I am not there to enjoy it. I think I will love the warmth in February but right now I miss the changing of seasons.

Yes, I am sad about the Red Sox.

Well, I'm almost done with The Return of the King from Lord of the Rings so I think I will enjoy that and go to sleep. Hopefully we can post pictures soon of some of our wanderings in the area.

Thanks for listening! Good night!

Tough Situation

Yesterday was a tough day for us. We met with our supervisor who gave us encouraging words about our work here and how we are doing. The house parents like us, we are growing in the ways we work with kids, and we are appreciated for the work we are doing. He then informed us that our hours were being increased to 18, 24-hour shifts a month rather than the 15 we had when we started the job. Both of our hearts sank when we heard this news because we already see the ways that this job puts strain on several important areas of our lives. We are a newly married couple who are not only trying to communicate about how to live together and make decisions about finances, recreation, spirituality, friends, and other decisions but we also have to communicate and agree on how to raise and parent children all at the same time! This, my friends, is no small task for a newly wed couple when we have 10 troubled kids. Most importantly, we work in a job that requires consistant fellowship and communion with the Lord in order to love those who are often quite unloveable. All of these areas of our lives have been challenged because of the schedule of this job. Eric is feeling sick again right now.

Initially, we agreed to come down here because we were told the ministry would be flexible and work with our new marriage. They said possibly we would only work two respites and provide some nights out. Then upon arrival it was changed to 15 days on and 15 days off. Eric fought to ensure that this is how the schedule would stay, even asking for it to be in our contract. Eric was already feeling the busyness of the job. We then found out that we would not be given the privilege of weekends and thus regular church attendance would be around once a month at best. We believe the 15 days off could work if we are given time to settle in and work on cultivating the areas of our lives that are feeling under attack: our relationship with the Lord, our marriage and our fellowship with other believers. But right now 18 days seems overwhelming. For those of you who think this is easy because you work 5 days a week 9 hours a day with only weekends and evenings off...let me show you a comparison: 5 days a week at 9 hours a day is around 180 hours a month. Our job is hard work at least 16 hours a day if not 24. 16 hours times 18 days a month is 288 hours. Imagine asking your spouse if you could work an extra 100 hours each month. Essentially we are asking ourselves, "Can we work in a ministry and still have boundaries on our time? Is this job helping our marriage, our community and our relationship with each other?"

Part of the reason for this blog is to ask you to pray for us as we try to wrestle with what to do. (The other reason is to figure out how to communicate exactly what we are thinking right now). We are planning on meeting with our supervisor again to ask that the 18 days not take effect until January even though he would like it to start next month. We then feel it would be a good idea to put ourselves on a 3 month trial of the 18-day plan and in March we will evaluate how things are going in those three areas that are listed above. Please be praying for us as we plan to have the meeting and also that we would be open to the Lord's direction for us. Perhaps this job is not what is best for us right now especially if our schedule continues to change without much warning. We like what we are doing but it seems that this job may not be as ideal as we thought when we first heard about the hours and time off and their flexibility towards us instead of our flexibility towards them.

Prasies: That we have gotten good feedback and seem to be picking up the job fairly quickly.

Prayers: God would send His wisdom about how much work is healthy. That we would be able to find a comprimise with the ministry and ultimately that God would direct us where He wants us to work for His kingdom.

Mid-October Report

Autumn has officially rolled into Tucson although it is not quite the same without the changing of colors. Everything is still green and brown and the sun still shines but the temperatures are significantly cooler. I, Bethany, have actually been cold outside and it was only 66 degrees in our apartment when we came home yesterday and that was without the air on.

Anyway, it's hard to believe that it is already mid-October and we have been here for about 2 months. We are almost done with our second round of respites and looking forward to the break that we will have at the end of the month. We continue to face various challenges as we work with these kids but nothing has caused us to resign yet! When we returned to Splash 4 at the beginning of the month, we were faced with quite an array of attitudes that, at times, took the wind out of our sails but God was faithful to help keep us going.

Yesterday we finished up at Splash 3 with two 6 years olds and two 8 year olds who keep us on our toes all the time: throwing cereal, punching each other and spraying chemicals on Eric's breakfast! We tried the strategy of letting them stay up late so they would sleep in but one of them got up at 7:00 a.m. without fail so that didn't work in our favor. Despite the bountiful harvest of consequences we had to dish out during the respite, we also got to do some fun things with the kids and the nice thing about this group is the positive responses we got from the activities. They have vacation from school for the whole week so we had lots of free time to fill up. There is a movie theater around here that has $2 tickets so we got to see WALL-E and Kung Fu Panda this weekend. We also went to a roller skating rink and the kids had a blast learning to roller skate with us. Another bonus was having a blow up jumping castle at the house that was left over from a party. Just plug it in and it inflates and provides entertainment for hours while the kids jump around on the inside just like at a carnival. They loved all the stuff that we did with them so it was rewarding to hear their thanks even for the food that we made them! Bethany even convinced the kids to wash our car!

Let me take this time to warn you all about the importance of backing up the data that is on your computer. Eric's hard drive failed on us without any warning so all of the files on his computer that aren't backed up will cost us a lot if we want to retrieve them. Sadly, we have lost the pictures from our honeymoon. So, learn from our mistake and find a place to continually back up your data in case of hard drive failure.

We can and often do walk to Wal-Mart to get groceries we have forgotten to get from the GAP pantry. This beautiful map, courtesy of Google, shows the exact path we walk to get to the mall and Wal-Mart.

We continue to learn lots about marriage, love, serving and other Christ-like qualities as we work in this job. It is definitely not a picnic and my weaknesses and failures show up quickly in an environment that demands all of me without much time for rejuvenation. Eric has been very patient and he does a great job with the kids, especially when they are somewhat out of control and not listening very well. I am learning not to take it so personally if they have a bad attitude or if they aren't listening and although progress seems slow right now, I hope to keep persevering so that I can grow in learning to love.

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance; godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:7-8

We are continually thankful for the ways God has provided for us, including our nice little home with a hot-tub that we enjoyed last night in the cold, autumn air.

Praises: We are continuing to build relationships with the kids and their parents and are learning a lot from this experience.

Prayers: Strength and endurance for each respite. At the end of the month we hope to purchase a new laptop. Cheap plane tickets to come home for Christmas. For our marriage to be strengthened as we work together.